Walkabout

Synopsis:
So this piece came to me in a rather unexpected way. I was attempting to write something in C minor, starting with the F, Ab, G figure. It evolved and ran down a rabbit hole to D minor. Then this lovely A minor bit sort of came out of the woodwork and pushed its way into C major by the end. Sometimes tones have a way of speaking to me whether or not I initiated them into conversation. As far as lyrical content is concerned, this song is deeply personal and relates to my lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder. Without going into too much personal detail, I will say that this song is for anyone who ever feels the need to hide themselves from the world. Music comes no differently for me. I love to play and perform, but I fear disappointing people if they desire to chat with me afterward. I do not necessarily know what I think they expect from me, but my brain convinces me that whatever it is, I don’t have it.

What do you hide from the world?

Cello stuff:
Again, cello was difficult to put on this. I probably recorded and re-recorded the parts half a dozen times before settling on a soundscape of long tones and lamenting descending scalar figures. I may repost this if I come up with something new. It’s still just not quite there, but I am trying to improve myself. Self improvement sometimes involves diving in without being fully prepared. Finishing tasks can be daunting for me, because I tend to overanalyze what I want. Finishing something is better than finishing nothing at all. So here you go.

Lyrics:
I often find myself in crowded places in the night
I don't know how I got there but I'll stay a little while
And if I seem distracted promise it's not me it's you
Spittin your monotonies you haven't got a clue 

Who you're dealing with, I decry
Hello state of grace gone awry
Descend to madness

The birds they speak to me their melodies fall from the sky
Wandering while wondering just where the hell am I 
I'll sit down and take a rest if it's alright with you
My body's broken bleeding and I haven't got a clue

Who I'm dealing with, I decry 
Hello state of grace gone awry
Descend to madness

Daylight is breaking I'll figure it out 
Falsify my disposition, conceal my walkabout
And get it together and pick myself up
Gather all the broken pieces, sweep them under the rug

Smoke and mirrors
Prescriptions will paralyze our fears

So quit asking questions and stick out your tongue
The awful things that people say when they think they're alone
The unthinkable is palpable it permeates the breath
The crackpots and the non-believers they don't stand a chance

Descend to madness

Daylight is breaking so I'll figure it out
Falsify my disposition, conceal my walkabout
And get it together and pick myself up
Gather all the broken pieces, sweep them under the rug